so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
