I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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