the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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