I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
