who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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