The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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