for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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