everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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