I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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