he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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