I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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