evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
