So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it penis luge time yet?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
