it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
