I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
