We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
