I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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