Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
