remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
