3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize