I want to stick my p in your. b.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
