Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
