I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she pinky promised me she was 18
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize