y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
