Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
