You're a womanizer and a bitch.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize