Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
