Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
