ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
organizing the empties. That sober.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
