ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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