I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
