my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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