I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
