is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
