TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
