Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
