I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
