Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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