He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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