batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
