The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
