$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
