dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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