I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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