dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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