I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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