I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
