yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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