the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
