you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
