I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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