i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize