I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
