The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
