we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
