At least make sure they are 18
Why
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
