I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
sex in a hospital.. check
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
