I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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