there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
