I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
