why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
