Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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