her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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