Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
