You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize