oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
