Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
