If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
