how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
