Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
